Many questions, one patron

A patron whose voice I recognized called just before 2pm, while I was at the Information Desk. She started by asking if someone with a card from a Nassau County library could borrow items from Suffolk County libraries. Not directly, I told her; we could do an inter-library loan. How about the reverse? she asked: could someone with a card from a Suffolk County library could borrow items from Nassau County libraries? Again, I told her, not directly; but with an inter-library loan. I told her about the LILRC pass that would allow her access to participating college libraries.

She then moved on to the main event. She asked about a book by W. Cleon Skousen, The making of America. Hillside Library owns it, I told her. Next she asked for The naked Communist, which East meadow owns. She then moved onto The 5000 year leap : the 28 great ideas that changed the world, which is in the system but dangling.

Then it got interesting. She asked if there was a way to find out if a book had been stolen. Curious, and getting a little tired, I told her that someone who does not return a book, or returns it late gets fined, or charged for the missing book.

"But someone could get his wife and kids to take books from the shelf, right?"

That one got me.

"If they take books off the shelf, and never return them, is there a way to know?"

She was on a roll.

"Why isn't The 5000 year leap by Skousen on the shelf?"

"I can't answer why, but I can tell you it isn't available for circulation."

"It's available from Barnes & Noble," she parried. "Why isn't it available from a library?"

By now I wanted to get off the phone. It was past 2pm, the next librarian was ready to take the desk, and I wanted out.

"It was recommended by Glenn Beck," she asserted.

That did it for me. Glenn Beck is a wacko, right-wing fanatic. Enough. She continued ranting about Barnes & Noble.

"Is there something else I can help you with? I need to help the next patron," I said.

Click.